What makes the Opposite keep Showing Up?
Acceptance is a Crucial Principle
A client, Graham, was both impatient, and unhappy about his lack of patience! Yet having discussed it, he then declared, in more or less these exact words: God give me patience, and I want it NOW!
Guess what! Next time, he arrived late for his Life Strategies session. Apologetically, he described what had happened. He had started out more or less on time, but the narrow winding road gave him no room to overtake a very slow truck. I was stuck behind the truck for several miles, he complained.
Life had brought him yet another situation which he could use to help him become more patient. The perfect circumstance in which to develop the patience he had declared he wanted!
Guess what! Next time, he arrived late for his Life Strategies session. Apologetically, he described what had happened. He had started out more or less on time, but the narrow winding road gave him no room to overtake a very slow truck. I was stuck behind the truck for several miles, he complained.
Life had brought him yet another situation which he could use to help him become more patient. The perfect circumstance in which to develop the patience he had declared he wanted!
Life is On Your Side
Graham had the ideal opportunity to bring about the outcome he had declared for himself. Yet he reacted with his previous pattern - impatience - rather than choosing different tools of creation. When your thoughts, your words, and your actions (deeds) are aligned neither with reality nor the way reality works, your results are also out of integrity. Confused choices give confused results.
Life is not evil, it gently supports you in your desire to move on. So it keeps bringing you the ideal circumstances to change your reactions, to respond so that you are stuck no longer. Natural Law is at work here - the Absence Process.
The Absence Process
It's your need for a specific result which calls this Natural Law into play. The Absence Process operates when you reject a situation you don't want. It's your rejection, the calling it punishment, or evil, or bad luck, your non-acceptance which invokes it.
You'll change your life by realizing the wisdom in that wonderful aphorism:
It takes the bitter - and the sweet - to make life complete!
Patience and impatience are seen as opposites, but are actually degrees on the scale of patience - you have more patience when you're patient than impatient. Since the name of the scale of patience is the same word as when you have a lot of it, let's instead use another pair of opposites, hot and cold, to explain more clearly.Real Knowing takes Experience
What does really know cold mean? It means to accept, approve and appreciate cold. You need to accept cold for exactly what it is - real. Approve of it, perhaps because of the lessons you learned. You appreciate the experience, although you may also be glad it's over.
Without really knowing cold to compliment your experience of hot, the concept of temperature can only be intellectual. To know about is just book learning or hearsay, which has very little of your time and energy. The secret of success is that authentic knowing takes experience. Once you accept, approve and appreciate cold without rejection or negativity - then you authentically know cold.
To know both hot and cold is to really know temperature. This doesn't mean you need to choose cold, but you do need to know what cold really is. Then you have the freedom to choose either hot or cold as appropriate.
This suggests that whenever you reject cold, or judge it as wrong, then you don't really know it, you just know about it. So never reject the opposite of what you want, it will help you fully experience what you really want. Once you fully know both sides, then you can move on.
What Suffering Tells You
There's a lesson in your suffering. It tells you that there's something to be remembered here. An internal change to be made regarding acceptance of this situation. In other words, it's motivation for you to let it go.
But when you see there's a change for you to make, how often does your self sabotage mechanism call it suffering instead of motivation to change? You prefer to hang on to your current perspective rather than realize what the situation is telling you! Rather just let it go.
Your Life is NOT Falling Apart
It's not that your life is falling apart. See that your life is falling together instead. You can't move towards what you want without moving away from what is so right now. This, of course, requires change.
Life suggests the best way forward, which is rarely the way you would choose. So you judge it as uncomfortable, and react the same as last time. But do you really want to suffer? Embrace the uncomfortable, it's there to help you improve your life.
When you let go of your disapproval, your rejection, your aversion to the circumstances, you also stop suffering in such situations. Now you really know it from all angles and can simply enjoy what happens. Your joy shows you are on your way to mastery.
Once you've let all such ineffective reactions go, you will have mastered the situation and it can then let go of you! Your life will stop bringing you opportunities that you see as problems, and you can stop wasting your time and energy. You've at last let it go - and can now move on.
Food for Thought
“Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways."
Stephen Vincent Benet, 1898-1943, American author, novelist and poet
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