"Convince me, and I’ll help you," said I. She looked dubious, what else could she say? "I’ll try," she repeated, "I’ll really try."
Natalie was rather over-weight. Short and stocky anyway, the extra 40 pounds weight were making her feel bloated. Her self sabotage gave her little energy and she didn’t like the way she looked. The only advantage was that she was spending money on new clothes, the old ones didn’t fit any longer.
So she wanted to lose weight, yet knew that the vast majority of people who went on a diet weighted the same, or even more, a year later. She’d tried before, and hadn’t stuck to it. Would I change her life and help motivate her?
Yet we’d been round this loop maybe a year before. I’d suggested something when she begged me to help her, and she had promptly declined saying it was too difficult!
So, this time, I wasn’t going to tell her first. I wanted her commitment to do whatever it takes, to pay the price that losing weight demands. I’m not unkind, I reassured her, I'm not going to ask you to do anything illegal, immoral, or fattening. I just wanted to eliminate all wriggle room, so that she’d get the result she really wanted.
Was She Committed?
‘So will you do it?‘ I asked, without specifying what it was. "I’ll try," she replied. She’d earlier said yes, but the yes wasn’t convincing, it was one of those yesses - you know; yes provided it’s not too difficult, not too much bother.
"Convince me you mean it, that you really mean it," said I trying to encourage her. Because I could see her self sabotage, I didn’t find her I’ll try! really convincing.
Yet I still didn't get a response that really convinced me. So I told her to think it over and to call me if she really did want the results that doing it would bring. To phone me when she was willing to use the power of commitment to lose her unwanted extra weight.
She didn't call.
Food for Thought
"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality."
- Abraham Lincoln, 1809-1865, 16th president of the U.S.A.