Let it Go - Just Get Over It!
The Secrets to Freeing yourself from the Clutch of the Past
The Cape Talk Radio Show
It was amazing at how calm I felt on the Cape Talk show, AM 567. I had just announced to the whole of the radio audience that I used to suffer from herpes! Yet I used to be so embarrassed about this - the shame I had felt when I told someone! For so many years, I hadn't wanted anyone to know that I had caught herpes from my partner, Cheryl, many years ago.
It was a warm September day when I was finally freed from my deep, dark secret. Katie Byron's course The Work is brilliant, she seems to be one of the few enlightened masters. One of the things Katie says is:
It was a warm September day when I was finally freed from my deep, dark secret. Katie Byron's course The Work is brilliant, she seems to be one of the few enlightened masters. One of the things Katie says is:
"The only thing that causes us suffering is an uninvestigated thought."
Towards the end of her wonderful course, she had us write down what we're most embarrassed about, the biggest secret we don't want anybody to know. So I wrote ‘herpes’. The next instruction? ‘Discuss it with the person next to you!’ Despite really severe misgivings, I did so - with a big gulp.What an amazing feeling!
I'm now completely free of the embarrassment, the shame, the stress of having herpes. I'm at peace in the situation, I now see that it was a good thing. Yet what has changed? Not the situation, I still have herpes I guess, even though I haven't had an attack for years. What has changed is the way I look at it, my viewpoint. The secret of success was to Let It Go. And my new perspective has given me peace.
How Much Time is Enough?
Ten or even twenty years after a disastrous incident, have you found that you can see the value in it? How, even though you may not have enjoyed what happened, it actually served you to go through that experience?
This suggests that, at some point in the future, you will be able to look at any situation and see how it has benefited you. The secret of success is to advance that process. Put in the time and effort to let the situation go now - rather than wait and suffer for another ten or twenty years!
The value for you in doing so? You recognize that holding onto any particular incident, circumstance, or situation which causes you pain and suffering is to hold onto the pain that it causes you. And if you want more peace, love, calm and joy in your life then it won't happen - cannot happen - by holding onto pain!
Choose One Specific Incident
First choose a particular event that troubles you emotionally. Decide on how much time you're willing to invest in letting it go. Then ensure you don't procrastinate, commit to spending at least that much time every day. Say fifteen minutes a day. Every day.
There's energy locked up in this incident, that's one of the reasons why looking at it causes you pain. You've locked up energy in the past, and so have less for today. This is why some people have so little life in them, they have locked up all their energy in the past, and have very little left for today.
The secret of success is to determine upfront a fixed amount of time to invest each and every day. The self sabotage mechanism is devious, it'll attempt to distract you. It'll try to persuade you you don't need to invest the time and energy this process requires. It lives on the energy in your stress, your pain and suffering, so by doing this you are removing one of its source of food.
So make a commitment to continue until the one incident you have chosen to complete here no longer holds any pain and suffering for you. Once it no longer has any emotional hold on you, you can stop since you've truly Let It Go!
Keep a written record of what you come up with daily since the self sabotage mechanism wants to forget all progress. You'll change your life by reading all the positives from the previous days before you start...
How to Let It Go
Follow this Life Strategies Let It Go process faithfully:
a. Write three Negatives
Write down three negatives about your chosen incident. Three or four negatives are usually enough. Allow your self to feel - to feel fully - the outrage, the anger, the betrayal, the fury, the unfairness, whatever, about each negative perspective for each incident. Feel free to wallow here, after all you've put a lot of energy into this incident, and you deserve to feel whatever you feel you need to feel here! Do NOT self sabotage by repressing these emotions, allow yourself to feel them completely. This is about releasing, not repressing.
b. Complete the Negative Perspectives
Yet once the negative perspectives are complete the first day, don’t unnecessarily go back to them again. You do not want to put any more energy into these negatives in succeeding days. They will be finished when you've finished here on the first day, so spend as much time as you feel you need today.
c. Write three Positives
d. Write Another Positive
On succeeding days, ignore the negatives, and writing down at least one positive. Keep searching for and write down new positives each day. Every single day, invest your minimum time commitment (or more) and come up with at least one new positive. Anything is good, no matter how small.
e. How to find Another Positive
If your self sabotage mechanism blocks you, and you find difficulty in thinking of a new positive then say to yourself, I know I don’t know the answer, but if I did know, what would the answer be? The secret of success here is to stop thinking and just allow the answer to come to you.
f. Use even a tiny New Positive
If you battle to think of a new positive - your fifteen minutes is up and you're completely stuck - I’ve even used, This incident has given me another opportunity to invest time in searching for positives. Yes this is really small - you are indeed clutching at straws with such a tiny positive - but notice we haven't said how big, or small, the positive has to be. Sometimes you have to dig deep to release that locked up energy...
g. Continue writing at least one New Positive every day
If your self sabotage mechanism fights really hard and you continue to be completely stuck throughout your fifteen minutes the next day, then that day's positive could be: This has given me another opportunity to look at the positive in this situation. I spent fifteen minutes yesterday, and another fifteen minutes today. And that thirty minutes looking on the bright side is beneficial. This is a new and different one, and is renewable as a brand new positive every day. It is indeed miniscule. Yet it is positive!
h. Only Stop once you Feel you are Complete
Add at least one new positive each and every day until you feel in your heart that you can see the benefit in it being just the way it is. You feel complete. You no longer have energy locked up in the incident.
Formal Completion
The three stages for successful completion are first acceptance, then approval, and finally appreciation. Since the self sabotage mechanism feeds on the locked up energy, it will try to stop you formally confirming that you have completely Let It Go.
So keep exploring positives every day until you can appreciate what happened. You approve when you can say: Yes, I can see value and am therefore grateful for what happened. You appreciate when even though it was not enjoyable and you do not want to repeat it, you can say: I wouldn't have it any other way!
When you can say that you accept, approve, and appreciate what happened, then you've really let it go. Then it has no juice left to feed the self sabotage mechanism. Complete release is a real relief, you regain the energy you had locked up in it. Then you'll find it's equally true to say that it has let you go!
*** The secret of success is to write out, sign and date this Life Strategies breakthrough statement as your complete truth. Writing and signing this statement in your own hand-writing will formally confirm you have completely Let It Go!
When you can say that you accept, approve, and appreciate what happened, then you've really let it go. Then it has no juice left to feed the self sabotage mechanism. Complete release is a real relief, you regain the energy you had locked up in it. Then you'll find it's equally true to say that it has let you go!
*** The secret of success is to write out, sign and date this Life Strategies breakthrough statement as your complete truth. Writing and signing this statement in your own hand-writing will formally confirm you have completely Let It Go!
"I accept that [this] has happened. It is reality."
"I approve of [this] happening. I can see that it has had a benefit, it has given me value.
"I can now appreciate that [this] happened. I have gained much experience, so much value from what happened, no matter how negative it was, that now I wouldn't have it any other way."
"I approve of [this] happening. I can see that it has had a benefit, it has given me value.
"I can now appreciate that [this] happened. I have gained much experience, so much value from what happened, no matter how negative it was, that now I wouldn't have it any other way."
When you can truthfully sign this declaration, you have Let It Go. This incident has lost its hold on you, it no longer ties up your energy. This is not to say that you prefer to have it this way. You may well have intended something else, or would rather it were otherwise. Yet you now feel at peace.
Now You've Let It Go
You've just released the energy you had locked up in the position you took about what happened. This is not to say that you liked it, that is not relevant. Even the last stage - appreciation - does NOT imply you liked it! You're glad of the results it has given you, but not necessarily the experience whilst it was happening.
Repeat as necessary. To start with, the secret of success is not to release more than one incident at a time. Later, if you choose to release more than one concurrently, keep them separate, don't let the second interfere in any way with your time commitment to completing the original.
Keep a record of how you released each incident so that you can see how this process gives you the peace you want. When you have released your blocked energy, then you can move on. If you wish, you may email us to let us know where you are and to ask for advice, help and/or feedback...
Food for Thought
“We are all faced with a series of great opportunities
brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”
Charles Swindoll
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