Contemplate how free you'll feel once you've...
Overcome your self-sabotage!
She was very attractive
Susan is single and attractive, Wendy had told me, so I was looking forward to meeting her. "The weather-man says the weekend will be lovely," I said when I called, "Do you have a bike? Would you like to go for a ride on Saturday?"
Wendy is my assistant at work, and she knew both her sister and I were not involved with anyone. The bike ride was our first date, and Susan turned out to be very attractive indeed.
The weather cooperated, it was sunny and not too hot. We rode along the shady path by the river through the park, and then relaxed on the grass to enjoy the picnic I'd brought for us.
Wendy is my assistant at work, and she knew both her sister and I were not involved with anyone. The bike ride was our first date, and Susan turned out to be very attractive indeed.
The weather cooperated, it was sunny and not too hot. We rode along the shady path by the river through the park, and then relaxed on the grass to enjoy the picnic I'd brought for us.
After a delicious lunch we continued the ride. Then it was time to go our separate ways. She'd had a good time and I could see she wanted to see me again. She put her bike on its stand out of the way so we could enjoy a hug and perhaps a kiss.
But I was disappointed that she had declined my advance earlier, so I passed on her unstated invitation. I stayed holding my bike between us! We chatted pleasantly for several minutes, but I didn't arrange anything further. I neither called her nor saw her ever again.
If I had kissed her when she was ready, who knows where we might have ended up? I wanted a romantic relationship, she was available, yet my behavior ensured we both lost out.
This was just Self-Sabotage
Looking back at this experience with Susan, I really missed out. She was willing, I wanted her, and yet I declined! Believing my thoughts without question has let me to behave in some very weird ways!
My mind used to tell me that revenge is sweet. If you do something I don't like, then I should do the same to you so you can also see how it feels. We do what we mistakenly think will get us the results we want, yet we also have inaccurate beliefs. So the opposite manifests from time to time, as happened to me here. This suggests that self-sabotage is a ongoing problem!
Now I know you wouldn’t follow my example, you understand that it's foolish to repeat actions which don't have desirable consequences. But I no longer even blush when I say I've done so once or twice. Perhaps on more than a couple of occasions. :-)
But have you ever had an argument with your partner, when all you wanted was to be friends or make love instead? Or argued with a colleague or a friend which brought unwanted tension rather than the results you desired?
I don't know how many great opportunities I've overlooked by such counter-productive behavior. How often have I believed and then taken action on such untrue thoughts?
If any of this seems familiar, and you want more desirable results, then read on. This program on reducing self-sabotage and becoming more effective is what you need.
My mind used to tell me that revenge is sweet. If you do something I don't like, then I should do the same to you so you can also see how it feels. We do what we mistakenly think will get us the results we want, yet we also have inaccurate beliefs. So the opposite manifests from time to time, as happened to me here. This suggests that self-sabotage is a ongoing problem!
Now I know you wouldn’t follow my example, you understand that it's foolish to repeat actions which don't have desirable consequences. But I no longer even blush when I say I've done so once or twice. Perhaps on more than a couple of occasions. :-)
But have you ever had an argument with your partner, when all you wanted was to be friends or make love instead? Or argued with a colleague or a friend which brought unwanted tension rather than the results you desired?
I don't know how many great opportunities I've overlooked by such counter-productive behavior. How often have I believed and then taken action on such untrue thoughts?
If any of this seems familiar, and you want more desirable results, then read on. This program on reducing self-sabotage and becoming more effective is what you need.
How to Achieve More
Overcoming self-sabotage is one of the most interesting challenges of all. And certainly the most productive in terms of results. Simply choose actions which you already know will bring desirable outcomes. It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!
Wisdom recommends you put more energy into becoming creative. You focus on doing what works more often. You recreate your internal context so that you can be more effective at producing what you really want, no matter what it is.
Yet everybody has a self-sabotage mechanism (ssm). It works all the time, and its job is to bring you arduous circumstances, so when you get more desirable ones you can appreciate them. To really know something, you also need to know its opposite.
This suggests that self-sabotage is not wrong, although it does generally result in less appealing circumstances! As Arianna Huffington insightfully observed:
"We need to accept that… failure is not the opposite
of success,
it's part of success."
How to Recognize Self-Sabotage
It's simple, yet simple doesn’t mean easy. Self-sabotage is involved when you know what to do, yet you don’t do it. Or you don't think through the consequences to end up with the results you want.
Lack of results suggests that, to use that well-word phrase popularized by Werner Erhard:
This approach simplifies the task of addressing your context - where you come from when you do what you do - rather than trying to change what you do itself, your content. Koans help you apply what you know to achieve more desirable results, so you become wiser as well as more effective.
Yes, I hear you say, this is all very well, but what does it mean in practical terms?
Lack of results suggests that, to use that well-word phrase popularized by Werner Erhard:
"There is something I do not know, the knowing
of which could change everything."
This approach simplifies the task of addressing your context - where you come from when you do what you do - rather than trying to change what you do itself, your content. Koans help you apply what you know to achieve more desirable results, so you become wiser as well as more effective.
Yes, I hear you say, this is all very well, but what does it mean in practical terms?
Yes . . . but what does it mean?
Let's use dieting as an example. It's widely reported that most people who start a diet weigh the same - or even more - a year later! But why is this so?
They put their energy into losing weight, into not being fat, into how many extra pounds they can lose. Which puts energy into what they don't want: being fat, over-weight, their extra pounds...
They put their energy into losing weight, into not being fat, into how many extra pounds they can lose. Which puts energy into what they don't want: being fat, over-weight, their extra pounds...
An important natural law is that Energy Energizes - a great example of a koan. No matter what you put your energy into, it increases. This is just the way nature works. When you understand this, you recognize that saying you don't want to be overweight puts your energy into being overweight!
It’s far more productive to put your energy into what you do want. You already know that most people recommend you focus on the positive rather than on the negative. This is why.
The Energy Principle affects everyone's life. So put your energy into what you do want. And if you're getting too much of what you don't want, your misuse of this law may be an important part of the reason.
Yet the self-sabotage mechanism will try to persuade you that you already understand the Energy Principle. But do you practice it? If it affects your life in any way this just demonstrates how much self-sabotage is part of your life. Stop for a moment - and contemplate this very, very carefully!
There's No Better Time to Start than Now
Overcoming self-sabotage does take work. It's very similar to getting fit, or going on a diet. You know you need to do it, and you need to do it now. That is the best time to start - right now!
Just like losing weight, there's a temptation to believe the misleading promises of the many programs which insist you can lose twenty or fifty pounds by the end of the month without any effort. But their success is only short-term. Scratching an itch doesn't remove the cause, although it may alleviate the effect. You want long-term results rather than a temporary fix.
You're not gullible. You wouldn't believe me if I told you overcoming self-sabotage doesn't take hard work anyway. And we don't believe in believing! You need genuine knowledge, which takes work and experience. Achieving success invariably means you'll have challenges to surmount.
Although the downhill path is far easier, the view from the mountain top is far better. Whenever you go downhill, you eventually have to go back up! This lengthens the journey and makes it harder. So ignore the temptation and go uphill as soon as you have the opportunity. Which means right now!
Just like losing weight, there's a temptation to believe the misleading promises of the many programs which insist you can lose twenty or fifty pounds by the end of the month without any effort. But their success is only short-term. Scratching an itch doesn't remove the cause, although it may alleviate the effect. You want long-term results rather than a temporary fix.
You're not gullible. You wouldn't believe me if I told you overcoming self-sabotage doesn't take hard work anyway. And we don't believe in believing! You need genuine knowledge, which takes work and experience. Achieving success invariably means you'll have challenges to surmount.
Although the downhill path is far easier, the view from the mountain top is far better. Whenever you go downhill, you eventually have to go back up! This lengthens the journey and makes it harder. So ignore the temptation and go uphill as soon as you have the opportunity. Which means right now!
Your Next Step
Some believe they know all this. But if what you know is not bringing you the results you desire then you do NOT authentically know this. You can't fool the universe, the proof of validity lies in your current circumstances.Self sabotage has a major effect on everybody's life. It's easily seen in other people, but very difficult to see your own. But you can see its results! You end up in undesirable situations and it's difficult to enjoy circumstances you do want. So bookmark this site - it costs nothing to keep exploring...
If you want to start out slowly, then What You Resist, Persists is for you. This dynamic Special Report introduces the concepts needed to overcome self-sabotage and its exercises enable you to start developing the necessary skills.
If you're stressing, and wish to reduce your stress right now, then this page opens in a new window. It will give you instant results - guaranteed! Do yourself a favor, don't miss out, check it out! :-)If you're serious about overcoming your self-sabotage and becoming more effective, then you need to invest both the time and the energy to find out how. This lighthearted yet exhilarating book explaining self-sabotage will give you the necessary skills:
Self-Sabotage? What it is, Why we do it, When we do it, How to Overcome It!
Food for Thought
He who gains a victory over other men is strong; but
he who gains a victory over himself is all powerful.
Lao Tzu, Confucian philosopher (b 604 BC)