Sarah is both attractive and available, you'll love her, said Helen as she wrote down her telephone number. Helen was my assistant at work, she knew neither her sister nor I were involved with anyone.
"The weather forecast for the next few days is superb," I said when I called Sarah that evening, "Do you own a bike? Shall we enjoy a ride this weekend?" That sounds lovely, she replied, happily accepting a bike ride as a first date.
The weather was perfect, warm and sunny and Sarah was indeed very attractive. We rode through the park along the path next to the river, and then enjoyed the picnic I had brought for lunch on the grass.
The day was beautiful, lovely and warm, Sarah was gorgeous so I made a very gentle pass. The circumstances were perfect, yet romance doesn't just depend on one person. We had just met and I guess she needed more time. She declined.
After a delectable meal we continued riding along by the water. Then it was time to say goodbye. She'd enjoyed herself and I could see she'd like to get together again. She used the stand on her bike to be free to enjoy a kiss and a hug.
But I'd been displeased she had ducked my earlier advance, so I ignored her non-verbal invitation. My bike stayed between us as we chatted cordially for a little while, but I made no further arrangements to see her. I neither phoned nor saw her ever again.
If I'd kissed her once she was willing, who knows what might have happened? I wanted romance, she was willing and available, as well as beautiful, but my self sabotage ensured both of us missed out!
Stop Believing your Thoughts!
We all have a self-sabotage mechanism - one of the Cherokee Indians' wolves. Mine used to insist revenge is justified. If I dislike something you do, then you should get the same treatment and find out what it feels like. We think what we do will get us the results we want, yet we also have inaccurate beliefs which bring undesirable consequences, as happened here.
Looking back at this incident, I definitely missed out. Sarah was willing for romance, I wanted the same yet I refused her invitation! Believing thoughts from the self-sabotage mechanism is a big problem. Accepting them without questioning has given me some very peculiar behavior. If you're not getting all the results you want, then you also need to learn how to stop automatically believing your thoughts!
Now I don't imagine you would ever follow me, you're not stupid, why repeat actions with undesirable consequences? But do you ever assume your thoughts are automatically credible simply because they're yours? Have you ever vehemently disagreed with a colleague bringing tension rather than cooperation? Or argued with your lover when you really wanted to cuddle instead? ...
If this seems at all familiar, then our program to free yourself from being misled is exactly what can help you. You can do something about it, here you'll discover the joys of overcoming your self-sabotage mechanism.
Overcome your Self Sabotage
Overcoming your self-sabotage mechanism is probably the most rewarding challenge of all, there's joy in increasing your freedom to choose. You enjoy actions with more appealing consequences.
Just imagine where you'd be if you had already learned to overcome your self-sabotage mechanism. This gives you a foretaste of the possible benefits. The secret of success is to imagine the amazing variety of choices in life's unlimited possibilities. What a meal!
So invest your energy into discovering how to be more creative and free to produce whatever you desire. Recreate your context - where you come from when you do what you do - so you become increasingly effective at doing what works. Which means to increase your inner power.
Yet everybody self sabotages. Your self-sabotage mechanism works non-stop bringing you difficult circumstances, so you will really appreciate better ones when they arrive. To completely know something, you need to experience its very opposite.
"We need to accept that ... failure is not the opposite of success,
it's part of success."
The Secret of Success is to Start Now
You're not gullible. Would you believe me if I pretended that overcoming your self sabotage doesn't take work. And I don't believe in believing anyway! Achieving success invariably means you'll have challenges to surmount. You need genuine knowledge, which takes work and experience but is amazingly worthwhile.
It's similar to starting a diet or getting fit, it's best not to procrastinate. So don't believe your mind's misleading promises, or allow its valid but irrelevant objections to sidetrack your efforts, you want the long-term joy only found in truth, freedom, and real success.
Although going downhill is easier, the mountain-top view is far better. The uphill path is more effort, but eventually you will have to make the climb. So don't extend your journey by going downhill and making the climb even longer. Be willing to pay the price as soon as the opportunity presents itself - and start right now.
How to Overcome Your Self Sabotage
Some of the many strategies you will discover and master are:
Overcome the stress caused by your self sabotage, chapter 2.3
Enjoy this six-part strategy to stop arguing, chapter 5.1
Save three hours a week using these two simple steps, chapter 3.5
Eliminate procrastination with these four important questions, chapter 3.4
Learn the immense value in being open-minded rather than "being right", chapter 1.4
Avoid the single biggest mistake everybody makes, chapter 7.2
Self sabotage has a major effect on all our lives. It's easily seen in other people, but very difficult to see your own. But you can see its results! You end up in undesirable situations and it can even make it difficult to enjoy circumstances you do want.
If you're serious about gaining your freedom from self sabotage, then you need to make a modest investment of time and money to find out how. This lighthearted yet exhilarating book will give you the necessary skills: