Overcome your Self Sabotage!

Susan is both attractive and available, you'll love her, said Wendy as she wrote down her name and telephone number. Wendy was my assistant at work, she knew neither her sister nor I were dating anyone.

"The weather forecast is superb," I said when I called Susan that evening, "Do you have a bike? Shall we go for a ride this weekend?" That sounds lovely, she replied, happily accepting a bike ride as our first date.

The weather was not too hot yet sunny and Susan turned out to be very attractive indeed. We rode through the park along the shady path by the river, and then enjoyed the picnic I'd brought for lunch on the grass.

It was a lovely warm day, she was gorgeous and I made a gentle pass. The circumstances were perfect, yet romance doesn't just depend on one person. We had just met and she presumably wanted to get to know me first. She declined.

After a delectable lunch we continued riding along by the water. Then it was time to go on our separate ways. She'd enjoyed herself and I could see she'd like to see me again. She used the stand on her bike to be free to enjoy a kiss and a hug.

But I was disappointed she had ducked my earlier advance, so I ignored her unstated invitation. I left my bike between us! We chatted cordially for a little while, but I made no further arrangements to see her. I neither phoned nor saw her ever again.

If I'd kissed her when she was willing, who knows what might have happened? I wanted a romantic relationship, she was available, yet following my self-sabotage mechanism ensured we both missed out!

> Stop Believing your Thoughts!

My mind used to insist that revenge is sweet. If I dislike something you do, then to let you see how it feels, I should do the same back to you. We do what we mistakenly believe will get us the results we want, yet we also have inaccurate beliefs which bring undesirable consequences, as happened here.

Looking back at this experience, I really missed out. Susan was willing, I wanted romance, and yet I declined! Believing thoughts from the self-sabotage mechanism is a big problem. Accepting them without question has let me to some very peculiar behavior. If you're not getting all the results you want, then you also need to learn how to stop believing your thoughts!

Now I know you wouldn’t follow me, you're not stupid, why repeat actions with undesirable consequences? But have you ever vehemently disagreed with a colleague bringing tension rather than cooperation? Or argued with your significant other when you really wanted to make love instead? ...

I can't count how many opportunities to change my life I've missed by such counter-productive behaviors. How often have I acted on such untrue beliefs and thoughts?

If this seems at all familiar, then this program to free yourself from being misled is exactly what can help you. You can do something about it, here you'll discover the joys of overcoming your self-sabotage mechanism.

> Overcome your Self Sabotage

Overcoming your self-sabotage mechanism is one of the most rewarding challenges in life, there's joy in increasing your freedom to choose. You enjoy actions with more appealing consequences.

Just imagine where you'd be if you had learned to overcome your self-sabotage mechanism in the past. This gives you a taste of the benefits. The secret of success is to imagine the amazing variety of choices in life's unlimited possibilities. What a meal!

Wisdom recommends you put your energy into becoming more creative and free to do what works. To recreate your context so you become more effective at producing whatever you desire. Which means to increase your inner power.

Yet everybody has a self-sabotage mechanism. It works non-stop, its job is to bring you difficult circumstances, so when you get better ones you really appreciate them. To completely know something, you really need to also know its opposite.

This indicates that there's nothing wrong with self sabotage, even though it results in undesirable outcomes. Arianna Huffington was very insightful when she observed:

"We need to accept that ... failure is not the opposite
of success, it's part of success."

> How to recognize Self Sabotage

Recognizing self sabotage is simple, yet this doesn’t mean it's easy. You do it when you know what you should do, yet your thoughts rationalize why you're not free to do it - and you believe them. Or you don't think it through enough and end up with undesirable consequences, or ...

To use Werner Erhard's well-worn phrase, your self sabotage suggests that:

"There is something I do not know, the knowing
of which could change everything."

Discover what you don't know. Self sabotage needs simplifying since it's such a complex, widespread, yet little-understood problem. So Life Strategies has broken down the many different perspectives about how life works into hundreds of smaller, more understandable portions called koans.

This approach simplifies the task of addressing your context - where you come from when you do what you do - rather than trying to change your content, what you do itself. Koans help you apply what you're learning here so you become both wiser and freer to choose more desirable results.

Yes yes, I hear you say, this is all very well, but what does it mean in practical terms?

> Yes . . . but How do I Change my Life?

Let's look at dieting as an example. It's been said that many people who start on a diet still weigh the same or more after a year. But why don't they lose weight?

It's because they focus on losing weight, on not being fat, the extra pounds they need to lose. They are putting their energy into what they do not want: their unwanted weight, being fat, their extra pounds...

The secret of success is instead to put your energy into having a healthy life- style. Being fit. Doing whatever you want without physical strain. Enjoying exercise. Looking slender and trim. Living longer, etc. etc.

A crucial natural law is that Energy Energizes - a great example of a koan. No matter what you energize, it then increases. Nature just works this way. When you authentically know this, you realize that saying you don't want to be fat just puts your energy into being overweight!

You'll change your life when you learn to put your energy into what you do want instead. You already know that most people recommend you focus on the positive rather than on the negative. This is why.

The Energy Process affects everyone's life. So only put energy into what you do want. And if you're having too much of what you do not want, learn to stop ignoring this natural law.

Is your self-sabotage mechanism trying to convince you that you already understand the Energy Process? But do you still misuse it? When you see such self sabotage, this demonstrates how much it affects your life. This is the place to stop for a moment - and contemplate this crucial point very, very deeply.

The Secret of Success is to Start Now

Success is very similar to getting fit, or going on a diet, you need to start right now. Just like losing weight, it's tempting to believe that you can lose twenty pounds by the end of the month without much effort. But that's only short-term, while you want the long-term joy in truth, freedom, and real success.

You're not gullible. You wouldn't believe me if I told you overcoming self sabotage doesn't take work. And we don't believe in believing anyway! Achieving success invariably means you'll have challenges to surmount. You need genuine knowledge, which takes work and experience but is amazingly worthwhile.

Although going downhill is easier, the vista at the top of the mountain is far better. The downhill path is easier, but you eventually have to go back up. This extends the journey and makes it more difficult. So be willing to pay the price as soon as the opportunity presents itself - and start right now.

Food for Thought

He who gains a victory over other men is strong; but
he who gains a victory over himself is all powerful.

Lao Tzu, Confucian philosopher (b 604 BC)

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