Do you just React, or Respond to the Circumstances?
There's an immense difference!
Everybody looked at me. There was a deafening silence while they assessed the situation and then someone patiently explained. Not for the first time, I'd got the wrong end of the stick and made a fool of myself.
Why don't I learn to wait for a while to check out the situation before opening my mouth, I asked myself yet again. It seems I can be a slow learner.
The charity where I volunteered was having its yearly planning meeting and they'd invited everybody, not just the committee. How to raise funds was a crucial issue, when should they hold such events?
"Let's have just two this year, at Easter and Spring," suggested Susan, a regular committee member.
Why don't I learn to wait for a while to check out the situation before opening my mouth, I asked myself yet again. It seems I can be a slow learner.
The charity where I volunteered was having its yearly planning meeting and they'd invited everybody, not just the committee. How to raise funds was a crucial issue, when should they hold such events?
"Let's have just two this year, at Easter and Spring," suggested Susan, a regular committee member.
Her suggestion seemed really weird. Most of my life I've lived north of the equator, where Easter and Spring more or less coincide. Yet we were in the southern hemisphere, in South Africa. Without thinking or letting anyone else have a say, I just blurted out my reaction: "But rather than both being together, it would make far more sense if we have them at different times in the year."
"Easter and Spring are at different times of the year, they're apart by six months," someone pointed out.
My face turned bright red. Instead of first checking out her logic, my reaction assumed that Susan had made a mistake. Yet I was the one who had the wrong perspective, it was my mistake!
"Easter and Spring are at different times of the year, they're apart by six months," someone pointed out.
My face turned bright red. Instead of first checking out her logic, my reaction assumed that Susan had made a mistake. Yet I was the one who had the wrong perspective, it was my mistake!
Demonstrate you are Conscious
Rather than demonstrate how unconsciously I could react, the situation had given me another opportunity where I could respond consciously instead. And I'd flunked it. I'd assumed my initial thought was right!
So I reacted again, acted the same as on far too many previous occasions. If a person didn't make sense, then I used to assume it can only be their fault. After all, I never made mistakes. Such reactions, repeated actions, are unconscious, rather than involve any thinking.
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Somali Wild Ass grazing
But to ASSUME means to make an ASS of yoU as well as ME. My self sabotage made me appear ridiculous to everyone as they saw the mistaken assumption - that Susan was slow - which lay behind my reaction.
In contrast, a response demonstrates real thinking, tailored to the current situation, rather than knee-jerk instinctive repetition. Whenever you consider the best way to respond, you can improve your life.
My reaction made me both look as well as feel stupid. Yet one secret of success is to think before you speak. But as soon as I heard the seeming incongruity in Susan's words, I spoke up without wondering if her suggestion really could be that stupid. As my mother often said:
In contrast, a response demonstrates real thinking, tailored to the current situation, rather than knee-jerk instinctive repetition. Whenever you consider the best way to respond, you can improve your life.
My reaction made me both look as well as feel stupid. Yet one secret of success is to think before you speak. But as soon as I heard the seeming incongruity in Susan's words, I spoke up without wondering if her suggestion really could be that stupid. As my mother often said:
Engage your brain before opening your mouth!
A very wise woman - my mother! Maybe I should listen to her words...Where do Reactions come from?
But where do your reactions come from? The past. Judgements of what's happened in the past taught you this is bad and so that is good. Or you listened to someone else and believed their opinion of bad and good.
You react when you allow the present to be ruled by the past. You repeat your previous actions, acting again while ignoring both the previous results and today's different circumstances.
Rather take time to choose differently, a more appropriate action, to think coolly instead of reacting emotionally. The vital secret of success is to respond, to ensure you can create and act more appropriately. Investigate which - a response or a reaction - will likely produce the result you desire.
Do You React Emotionally?
A emotional reaction will often demonstrate that you have a belief. Beliefs are generally adopted from someone else, without any critical thinking to see if they make any sense for you in your very different circumstances. If you can defend something rationally, you usually do. When you can't, then you react emotionally instead. So investigate all your emotional reactions, they have lots to teach you.
Respond and responsibility have the same linguistic root. Being responsible makes it easier for you to achieve your goals. One of the fundamental secrets of success is to choose - in advance - what you are going to be. Ensure being responsible is included!
Has the Law of Attraction given you this situation so you can choose differently this time? Learn to overcome your self sabotage mechanism, and let your habitual reaction go which allows you to create a more appropriate response and move on.
Don't React - Create!
The education you received probably taught you to prioritize what you do. When what you do is your focus, you just keep doing. Often repeating the same as before, reacting the same as last time. Yet can repeating the same actions change your results?
Since reacting involves no thinking, will anything change? The secret of success is to create a more appropriate response, you benefit immensely by learning to create in each moment. You will change your life once you see the enormous difference between a Creation and a reaCtion. The difference is the position of the "C"! When you C - see - differently, you see more clearly, and then you can create more desirable results.
But even having results you desire needs you to think about them in advance. Without thinking about them in advance, how can you desire them? As the insightful adage says:
When you don't know where you're going, any road will do.
What creates your results? What else but your thoughts, your words as well as your actions (your deeds.) The better all three are focussed on the same goal, the easier it is to create any desired result. Hence it works to align your thoughts, words, and actions in pursuit of your goals. See the three tools of creation (opens in a new tab).Food for Thought
“Employ the power of positive quitting.
Most of us view quitting as something negative, but it's not. 'Winners never quit,' we're told, when, in reality, winners quit all the time: choosing to stop doing things that aren't creating the results they desire.
"When you quit all the things that aren't working for you, when you quit tolerating all the negative things that hold you back, you'll create a positive 'charge' in your life as well as create the space in your life for more positive experiences."
- James Allen, (1864-1912) inspirational English author and philosopher
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