The Secret of Success?
The Crucial Component to Effectiveness that many ignore ...
The man's voice on the phone was friendly, "Can we have more time? it's not done yet" he asked. It was the Channel Islands bank. His phone call was unexpected, although I had been waiting a long time for their reply.
"You've written to us about being overcharged, and I've now been asked to investigate the matter," he said. "We are looking into it, but today is your deadline, and it's not done yet."
"It's Friday lunchtime," he continued. "I was hoping to leave work on time this afternoon for the weekend. But doing a thorough job will take several hours, I would actually need to stay late. May I do it next week instead?"
The bank had seriously overcharged me, so I'd written asking why several months ago. They'd ignored it.
"You've written to us about being overcharged, and I've now been asked to investigate the matter," he said. "We are looking into it, but today is your deadline, and it's not done yet."
"It's Friday lunchtime," he continued. "I was hoping to leave work on time this afternoon for the weekend. But doing a thorough job will take several hours, I would actually need to stay late. May I do it next week instead?"
The bank had seriously overcharged me, so I'd written asking why several months ago. They'd ignored it.
They'd also ignored my second letter. So my third said that if I didn't hear from them, I'd write to their Chairman in the hope that a motivated deadline would get this important matter resolved.
I was angry and incensed. First at being over-charged. Then at the Bank ignoring my two previous letters. And they'd even ignored my generous deadline, although they'd had over a month to deal with it. So I said no!
The manager then had to stay late that afternoon to investigate the matter. I spoilt his day by being inflexible and not acceding to his very reasonable request. Early the next week, I received his report. It found that the bank had not overcharged me, their charges were perfectly reasonable.
I was angry and incensed. First at being over-charged. Then at the Bank ignoring my two previous letters. And they'd even ignored my generous deadline, although they'd had over a month to deal with it. So I said no!
The manager then had to stay late that afternoon to investigate the matter. I spoilt his day by being inflexible and not acceding to his very reasonable request. Early the next week, I received his report. It found that the bank had not overcharged me, their charges were perfectly reasonable.
How Come?
Looking back at this incident, I'm amazed at how blind I was. I totally ignored where he was coming from and the impact of saying no - which seriously upset his plans for the weekend.
Ignoring where he was coming from when he wrote the report dramatically affected the outcome. The secret of success does not lie in being right. If I'd been more conscious of his context, I'm sure that he would have approached the investigation far more sympathetically.
This decision cost me a not inconsiderable chunk of money. But was it his or the bank's fault? Not really, although my self sabotage mechanism did initially give me this thought. Actually, it was my ignorance of the importance of context which cost me the money.
What is Context?
Robert Kiyosaki is world famous, his first book Rich Dad, Poor Dad has been on the best-seller lists for years. It's about becoming wealthy. He's a prolific writer and gifted teacher on how to create wealth.
"it is not so much what you do that makes you rich or poor. It is more the context surrounding what you do
that makes you rich or poor.
"That is why when people ask me what I do... I reply; 'Please don't ask me what I do.
Ask me what I think about what I do.'
"The difference ... is the context surrounding the actions or content."
Enjoy more Aha moments
There are many secrets of success shared in these pages, each one is designed to change your context rather than just your knowledge. So now you have the Life Strategies secret of success, we aim to educate rather than teach. Education comes from the Latin educare - 'to draw forth from within.'
Each change in your context brings you an aha moment. A discussion of perspective often means you see things differently, and you find yourself saying:
Yes, I know this, I might not have put it that way,
but it does make so much sense.
Do you Believe in Believing?
When you have a glass of juice in your hand, you don't say I believe I have a glass of juice, you say I know - because you're certain. You may say I believe it's apple-juice, which indicates you are not entirely certain that it's apple-juice. The secret of success is to realize you only say you believe because you don't know!
How do you become certain? Not by being gullible or believing what you hear, but by investigating for yourself. Belief can't get you there, you need to be skeptical. As a skeptic, you withhold judgment to start with. You neither believe nor disbelieve, you just don't know yet. Once you've checked it out and know the truth then you're certain. But not until.
Do you have any unquestioned beliefs? Many people have spent their lives believing they cannot be happy without things. Money, power, a 'good job' or your own business, love, wealth, the approval of others, friends, control over (fill in the blank), whatever… What do you believe?
Life often doesn't give you what you imagine you cannot be happy without. And then you're doomed to a life of frustration, anxiety and insecurity. You worry about tomorrow in an ever-changing world that refuses to submit quietly to your control. The secret of success is to realize there is a better way...
The Secret of Success
Life Strategies deeply understands the amazing truth in the powerful realization:
It doesn't matter what you do,
it won't get you
where you really want to be.
Have you noticed how situations can repeat themselves, often involving different people? We all laugh at the irony when someone lands in the same situation by marrying a clone of their mother or their father. Without changing context, situations reoccur so that you can learn the lesson.
Reducing stress involves reducing self sabotage by changing your context, your being. Discover the different perspectives which will resolve rather than just help you endure a situation. Without changing within, how can your feelings about anything change?
There's a dilemma here, although only an apparent one. Your life is not about what you do, and yet life is all about moving on from where you are - which always involves doing. You need to invest in yourself...
Food for Thought
"No man has a chance to enjoy permanent success until he begins
to look in a mirror for the real cause of all his mistakes."
Napoleon Hill 1883-1970, American author, success guru, attorney, lecturer,
advisor to President Franklin D. Roosevelt