Living up to Principles
Be Honorable to Enjoy the Benefits
I was very disappointed! Not at what Charles's email contained but at the omission, at what it did not cover. His response would decide whether or not I would invest a sizable sum in his company.
He was a new friend whom I’d met while on a personal development course. He was American, I'm English Canadian, and we’d connected.
He was a new friend whom I’d met while on a personal development course. He was American, I'm English Canadian, and we’d connected.
“I’m a real estate investor,” he said. “I do it both for myself and for clients who want the amazing returns, but don’t have the time or expertise to manage their investments themselves.”
“That sounds very interesting,” I replied, “I have some money to invest, let’s explore the possibilities.”
So we’d corresponded by email and yes, his proposal seemed very attractive. It looked like a great viable investment.
But in the past, I’ve been misled by people not following through on their word. My previous experience had highlighted the problem - people don’t always treat you the way they would like you to treat them. They don’t realize the Golden Rule is just not esoteric theory when it says:
“That sounds very interesting,” I replied, “I have some money to invest, let’s explore the possibilities.”
So we’d corresponded by email and yes, his proposal seemed very attractive. It looked like a great viable investment.
But in the past, I’ve been misled by people not following through on their word. My previous experience had highlighted the problem - people don’t always treat you the way they would like you to treat them. They don’t realize the Golden Rule is just not esoteric theory when it says:
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you
It emphasizes the highly practical consequence of an unequivocal natural law - what goes around, comes around. Once I’d realized that this was the cause of so many of my problems, then the solution seemed obvious. I needed to check first!So I asked him if he was trustworthy
My email asked Charles if he would agree to this vital principle in our dealings. Yet his reply just repeated the reasons why this investment was such a wonderful idea, and omitted any reference to my query.
Regretfully, I then decided to pass on what had seemed to be an outstanding investment, just because Charles had been unwilling to agree to this principle.
Mind you, at least he had been honest. His self-sabotage was not as strong as it could have been, he could have said he was trustworthy - and then reneged on his word!
The Dollar Signs in their Eyes
Have you ever seen the dollar signs in the eyes of a salesman as he insists that his product is perfect for you? When he seems more concerned about what he's going to get from the deal than what you're going to receive?
Contrast this with how you respond when the salesman's context is how good it is for you, and whether it really does suit your exact needs. You can generally tell where he's coming from by what he says and what he does...
Of course. We'd all rather buy from the person whose main concern is for our welfare. We tend to run from anyone who's only in it for the money he's going to get from us.
Contrast this with how you respond when the salesman's context is how good it is for you, and whether it really does suit your exact needs. You can generally tell where he's coming from by what he says and what he does...
Of course. We'd all rather buy from the person whose main concern is for our welfare. We tend to run from anyone who's only in it for the money he's going to get from us.
Is it a good deal for both of us?
Doesn't it rather make sense to change the usual "willing buyer, willing seller" principle that most people use? To work with one in which the world would be a better place.
You can do your part in this by adopting a different perspective. A more effective context that explicitly says:
You can do your part in this by adopting a different perspective. A more effective context that explicitly says:
Do not take advantage of anybody else!
I do this. Now, when I choose to enter a deal, I want synergy. I want us both to win. So I only enter it under the following conditions:- If I knew what you know about the deal, if I were in your shoes, then I'd still go ahead
- If you knew what I know about the deal, if you were in my shoes, you'd still go ahead
- Which means that whichever side of the deal we are on - my side, or your side - we would both still want to do it.
Give Full Value for Money
This does not discount the value of specialized expertise, training, and/or capabilities, of course. This doesn't mean you can't buy or sell your expertise, your time, or pay someone to teach you what you don't know. It means you're honest, they can trust you to be completely fair. They know you'll do what you've agreed to do providing they do the same.
Any successful deal requires both sides to follow through on their obligations. Both sides need to deliver. Yet if I don't fulfill my side of the bargain, that does not mean you should be forced to. And vice versa, of course.
What happens when people know you subscribe to the wisdom in this principle? Your trustworthiness builds relationships that prosper long-term because they deliver long-term. When relationships are built on mutual trust, how can they do otherwise?
Some Consequences are More Desirable than Others
This view of looking out for everyone, not just ourselves, is part of the new approach to life. One which, if we are to solve the problems which face us, we would do well to adopt.
Nowadays, the world has dramatically increased its capability to kill both people and nations, yet we have not yet increased our ability to get along with each other. This reflects a mutual lack of trust. In our view, this principled approach - if you knew what I knew, you would still think it's a good deal - would help solve this problem.
So if we can agree to work with each other on this basis then we'll work together. If you choose differently, then that's not wrong, that's just being different. But let us know if you are, or are not, willing to work on this principled basis, and then we can choose accordingly.
Remember that all actions have consequences, and some consequences are more desirable than others! To us, it makes sense that everyone only take actions which have desirable consequences. Just imagine, being able to fully trust all your business partners!
Trust has to start somewhere. As many, including President John F. Kennedy, have asked throughout the ages:
Nowadays, the world has dramatically increased its capability to kill both people and nations, yet we have not yet increased our ability to get along with each other. This reflects a mutual lack of trust. In our view, this principled approach - if you knew what I knew, you would still think it's a good deal - would help solve this problem.
So if we can agree to work with each other on this basis then we'll work together. If you choose differently, then that's not wrong, that's just being different. But let us know if you are, or are not, willing to work on this principled basis, and then we can choose accordingly.
Remember that all actions have consequences, and some consequences are more desirable than others! To us, it makes sense that everyone only take actions which have desirable consequences. Just imagine, being able to fully trust all your business partners!
Trust has to start somewhere. As many, including President John F. Kennedy, have asked throughout the ages:
"If not now, when? If not you, who?"
Your Next Step
Some believe they know all this. But if what you know is not bringing you the results you desire then you do NOT authentically know this. You can't fool the universe, the proof of validity lies in your current circumstances.Self sabotage has a major effect on everybody's life. It's easily seen in other people, but very difficult to see your own. But you can see its results! You end up in undesirable situations and it's difficult to enjoy circumstances you do want. So bookmark this site - it costs nothing to keep exploring...
If you want to start out slowly, then What You Resist, Persists is for you. This dynamic Special Report introduces the concepts needed to overcome the self-sabotage mechanism and its exercises enable you to start developing the necessary skills.
If you're stressing, and wish to reduce your stress right now, then this page opens in a new window. It will give you instant results - guaranteed! Do yourself a favor, don't miss out, check it out! :-)If you're serious about overcoming your self-sabotage and becoming more effective, then you need to invest both the time and the energy to find out how. This lighthearted yet exhilarating book explaining selfsabotage will give you the necessary skills:
Self-Sabotage? What it is, Why we do it, When we do it, How to Overcome It!
Food for Thought
"To make the world a better place, make a better you."
(Author unknown)