Always Remember the Context!
What many people miss, why they aren't very effective
Context - my Missing Ingredient
The man's voice on the phone was friendly, "Can we have more time? it's not done yet" he asked. It was the Channel Islands bank. His phone call was unexpected, although I had been waiting a long time for their reply.
"You've written to us about being overcharged, and I've now been asked to investigate the matter," he said. "We are looking into it, but today is your deadline, and it's not done yet."
"You've written to us about being overcharged, and I've now been asked to investigate the matter," he said. "We are looking into it, but today is your deadline, and it's not done yet."
"It's Friday lunchtime," he continued. "I was hoping to leave work on time this afternoon for the weekend. But doing a thorough job will take several hours, I would actually need to stay late. May I do it next week instead?"
The bank had seriously overcharged me, so I'd written asking why several months ago. They'd ignored it. They'd also ignored my second letter. So my third said that if I didn't hear from them, I'd write to their Chairman in the hope that a motivated deadline would get this important matter resolved.
I was angry, even incensed. First at being over-charged. Then at the Bank ignoring my two previous letters. And lastly they'd ignored my generous deadline, even though they'd had over a month to deal with it. So I said no!
The manager then had to stay late that afternoon to investigate the matter. I spoilt his day by being inflexible and not acceding to his very reasonable request.
Early the next week, I received his report. It found that the bank had not overcharged me, their charges were perfectly reasonable!
The bank had seriously overcharged me, so I'd written asking why several months ago. They'd ignored it. They'd also ignored my second letter. So my third said that if I didn't hear from them, I'd write to their Chairman in the hope that a motivated deadline would get this important matter resolved.
I was angry, even incensed. First at being over-charged. Then at the Bank ignoring my two previous letters. And lastly they'd ignored my generous deadline, even though they'd had over a month to deal with it. So I said no!
The manager then had to stay late that afternoon to investigate the matter. I spoilt his day by being inflexible and not acceding to his very reasonable request.
Early the next week, I received his report. It found that the bank had not overcharged me, their charges were perfectly reasonable!
How Come?
Looking back at this incident, I'm amazed at how blind I was. I totally ignored where he was coming from and the impact of saying no - which seriously upset his plans for the weekend.
Ignoring where he was coming from when he wrote the report dramatically affected the outcome. I was insistent on being right. But if I'd been more conscious of his needs, I'm sure that he would have approached the investigation far more sympathetically.
This decision cost me a thousand dollars or so. But was it his or the bank's fault? Not really, although my mind did initially give me this thought. Actually, it was my mistake in ignoring his context which cost me the money!
Ignoring where he was coming from when he wrote the report dramatically affected the outcome. I was insistent on being right. But if I'd been more conscious of his needs, I'm sure that he would have approached the investigation far more sympathetically.
This decision cost me a thousand dollars or so. But was it his or the bank's fault? Not really, although my mind did initially give me this thought. Actually, it was my mistake in ignoring his context which cost me the money!
What is Context?
Robert Kiyosaki is world famous, his first book Rich Dad, Poor Dad has been on the best-seller lists for years. It's about becoming wealthy! He's a prolific writer and gifted teacher on how to create wealth.
"it is not so much what you do that makes you rich or poor. It is more the context surrounding what you do that makes you rich or poor.
That is why when people ask me what I do... I reply; 'Please don't ask me what I do. Ask me what I think about what I do.
"The difference .. is the context surrounding the actions or content."
A Very Different Focus
Life Strategies deeply understands the amazing truth in the powerful realization -
As Kiyosaki explains, your context determines the success or failure of what you do. Changing what you do is not a change who you are. The change from where you are now to where you want to be involves changing your "be"ing - your context!
Have you noticed how situations can repeat themselves, often involving different people? We all laugh at the irony when someone lands in the same situation by marrying a clone of their mother or their father. Without changing context, situations reoccur so that you can learn the lesson.
Reducing stress involves reducing self-sabotage by changing your context, your being. Discover the different perspectives which will resolve rather than just help you endure a situation. Without changing within, how can your feelings about anything change?
There's a dilemma here, although only an apparent one! Your life is not about what you do, and yet life is all about moving on from where you are - which always involves doing!
"It doesn't matter what you do,
it won't get you
where you really want to be.
As Kiyosaki explains, your context determines the success or failure of what you do. Changing what you do is not a change who you are. The change from where you are now to where you want to be involves changing your "be"ing - your context!
Have you noticed how situations can repeat themselves, often involving different people? We all laugh at the irony when someone lands in the same situation by marrying a clone of their mother or their father. Without changing context, situations reoccur so that you can learn the lesson.
Reducing stress involves reducing self-sabotage by changing your context, your being. Discover the different perspectives which will resolve rather than just help you endure a situation. Without changing within, how can your feelings about anything change?
There's a dilemma here, although only an apparent one! Your life is not about what you do, and yet life is all about moving on from where you are - which always involves doing!
Enjoy more Aha moments
Changing context rather than just your knowledge is vital. So our goal is to educate rather than teach, you need to educate your imagination! Education comes from the Latin educare - 'to draw forth from within.'
Each change in context brings you an aha moment. A discussion of perspective often means you see things differently, you may even have had some already! Then you find yourself saying:
When you have a glass of juice in your hand, you don't say I believe I have a glass of juice, you say I know - because you're certain. You may say I believe it's apple-juice, which indicates you are not entirely certain that it's apple-juice. You only say you believe because you don't know!
Each change in context brings you an aha moment. A discussion of perspective often means you see things differently, you may even have had some already! Then you find yourself saying:
"Yes, I know this, I might not have put it that way,
but it does make so much sense.
When you have a glass of juice in your hand, you don't say I believe I have a glass of juice, you say I know - because you're certain. You may say I believe it's apple-juice, which indicates you are not entirely certain that it's apple-juice. You only say you believe because you don't know!
How do you become certain? Not by just believing what you hear, but by investigating for yourself. Belief can't get you there, you need to be skeptical. As a skeptic, you withhold judgment to start with. You neither believe nor disbelieve, you just don't know yet. Once you've checked it out and know the truth then you're certain. But not until.
Do you have any unquestioned beliefs? Many people have spent their lives believing they cannot be happy without things. Money, power, a 'good job' or your own business, love, the approval of others, friends, control over (fill in the blank), whatever… What do you believe?
Life often doesn't give you what you're convinced you cannot be happy without. And then you're doomed to a life of frustration, anxiety and insecurity. You worry about tomorrow in an ever-changing world that refuses to submit quietly to your control. There is a better way...
Your Next Step
Some believe they know all this. But if what you know is not bringing you the results you desire then you do NOT authentically know this. You can't fool the universe, the proof of validity lies in your current circumstances.Self sabotage has a major effect on everybody's life. It's easily seen in other people, but very difficult to see your own. But you can see its results! You end up in undesirable situations and it's difficult to enjoy circumstances you do want. So bookmark this site - it costs nothing to keep exploring...
If you want to start out slowly, then What You Resist, Persists is for you. This dynamic Special Report introduces the concepts needed to overcome self-sabotage and its exercises enable you to start developing the necessary skills.
If you're stressing, and wish to reduce your stress right now, then this page opens in a new window. It will give you instant results - guaranteed! Do yourself a favor, don't miss out, check it out! :-)If you're serious about overcoming your self-sabotage and becoming more effective, then you need to invest both the time and the energy to find out how. This lighthearted yet exhilarating book explaining self-sabotage will give you the necessary skills:
Self-Sabotage? What it is, Why we do it, When we do it, How to Overcome It!
Food for Thought
"When the imagination and the will-power are in conflict,
it is always the imagination which wins - without exception!"
Emile Coué, 1857-1926, French psychologist and pharmacist